Nicknames and tractor tires

Not so long ago Secret Agent Man gave me the task of taking the tractor tire in for some minor repair. He puts the tire into the back of my truck and tells me which shop he would like me to take it to. I, feeling pretty confident about this, dutifully take it to town. You know....I am all farmy and chicky .... and I can handle a deflated tractor tire. When I arrive a nice young man retrieves it from the back of my truck and he tells me they will give me a call in a day or two.

I get the call to come and pick up the tire. Upon entrance to the facility I am greeted by a bald, sweaty, loud, and sparsely clothed man. OK, I will say it was the dead of summer and ever so slighty, "Africa hot", so I won't deduct points for the lack of clothing. He then proceeds to let me know that Secret Agent Man cannot just drive the tractor through brush, briars, meadow muffins, etc, etc,etc.... without a care in the world. All I could do was nod my head and hand over the cash. I even thought for a minute he was going to tell me to put that tire in the truck myself, but alas he did not...whew.

I get home and Secret Agent Man's twin brother is at our house. Yes, people there are two of them. He's all nosey and wants to know where I have been. I tell him about the tractor tire and about the bald, bossy man. He says, "Oh, you mean Slobber!"

Slobber?!

Never in all of my travels, have I run into so many people with such crazy nicknames. Smalltownland is full of crazy nicknames. Here are a few of my personal favorites:

Mater

Uncle Funk - I'll let you guess why

Teedlebug

Whistle

Hoss

Silly Willy

Pig

Peediddle

Shuckypuddin'

What about you? Have you got any crazy nicknames where you live?